Top Signs Your Bank is in Trouble

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Bad Bank

Bad Bank

Bank of America is struggling and may lay off up to 40,000 workers.  So how’s your bank doing?  Here are the Top Signs Your Bank is in Trouble.

When the teller sees your account balance of $7, she whistles and says, “Whoa, check out Mr. Moneybags.”

–The only “statement” it gives you every month is “We’re screwed.”

–The pens want to escape their ball chains to get away from all the negativity.

–During armed robberies, the teller presses his head against the pistol and says, “GO AHEAD, PULL THE TRIGGER!  PULL THE DAMN TRIGGER!”

–When you ask to open a checking account, the CEO lands on the roof’s helipad, sprints inside and screams, “Thank you!  Thank you!  THANK YOU!”

–Instead of monthly statements, they send out cards with a cartoon kitten saying, “Oopsie!”

–The tellers seem to hate you, their job, and their life even more than usual.

–They promise they’re insured by the most stable, reliable company in all of Tijuana.

–When you ask the manager why your entire checking account’s been emptied without your consent, he shrugs and says, “Beats me.  I’ve never been good with money.”

–The tellers have tip jars.

–You’ve noticed each time you make a withdrawal, they shut off another light.

–Their CEO only got a $3 trillion bonus this year.

–The printout of your savings account is just a middle finger.

–President Obama says it isn’t in trouble.

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