…And You Thought YOUR Mother-In-Law Was Bad

bride ...And You Thought YOUR Mother In Law Was Bad
New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized by irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing or two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points for the bride, in paraphrase: her wedding is going to be tacky, she’s too picky of an eater, her sense of humor sucks, and her stepson is making a dreadful choice in marrying her. And one more thing: her out-of-work parents are cheap.

It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.

Please, for your own good, for Freddie’s sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

  • em

    The style in which his mother wrote this letter was harsh yes and slightly rude, but if the points that she highlighted were true of the daughter in law then yes, I think his mother should have said something. It’s pretty much common sense, when you are a visitor in someones home you do your best to go with THEIR flow and try to be as helpful/accomodating as the hosts will allow. Telling someone what you eat and don’t eat is taking quite a liberty in their house, declining the option to take some of the food which you do not eat would suffice, instead of saying you refuse to eat it. It’s also rude to lounge in bed until late, you are trying to be respectful towards their lifestyle because again, it is their house, and it is customary to wait for everyone to be served to start eating instead of starting right away. It seems this women does lack manners or etiquette for being a guest. But in retrospect, the mother did attack her and it would have been nicer and less intimidating if the mother ha called her and asked about her future DILs visiting habits and suggested ways to act for next time, so as not to seem so unbecoming, at least until she becomes closer with the family.

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